Shopping With Tanya

There is really nothing harder than being a picky, plus-sized girl, shopping in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language. My stepmom, Tanya, is really good at picking clothes for herself. She looks nice all the time (“Is Ukrainian tradition,” she tells me) and thinks that I should dress fancier. Which is fair. Maybe I should.

We went into Zhovti Vody the other day to go shopping and I have to tell you that there is little in this world more terrifying than standing in your underwear behind a curtain while three women are speaking in Russian and throwing clothes at you to try on. Ok, fine, there’s plenty more terrifying than that, but I couldn’t have told you what at the time.

Women here tend to come in two types: skinny young women and babushkas. I’m a young(ish) woman who happens to be shaped like a babushka, so there’s not much by way of clothes for me to choose from. I’m also a good 6-8 inches taller than most of the women here. I tend to dress in solid colours, and basic styles. Most of my wardrobe is black. And cotton. Women in the Ukraine like colours and texture and patterns and buckles and lycra.

Blurry Babushkas

I’m happy to try things on if it’ll make Tanya happy (mostly because she tends not to take ‘no’ for an answer. "You try," is her standard response). Tanya had me trying on all kinds of stuff. After I was unhappy with everything in the first store, she says to me, “You look beautiful. You have MUCH complex” and points at my head. Maybe I do, and maybe I do.

Anyway, we had a really great time shopping. We went to a dozen stores, I tried on a million things and made Tanya try on a bunch of stuff too. Mostly things she wanted me to buy but that I didn’t like on me. I ended up with a sweater, and Tanya ended up with a new blazer-type shirt thing and a bunch of dishes.

Side note: dishes here are SOOOO cheap. You can get a super nice tea pot or a huge glass bowl for $3 each. I can’t remember what she paid for the four serving platters she ended up buying, but it honestly couldn’t have been more than $40 for the lot. SO cheap.

Here’s the sweater I ended up buying. I’m pretty sure Tanya hates it, but I love it. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s meant to be a dress, but when you’re 6 feet tall you sometimes wear dresses as shirts.

New Sweater!